Tell It To Venus is for those who still have hope in love and relationships; even in the current and often discouraging environment in which we live. An environment that appears to offer a slim chance of having a healthy and happy relationship, or any possibility of marriage. We are still encouraged. We understand how easy it is to become tired and discouraged; Tell It To Venus is here to listen.
HOW YOU GET THEM IS HOW YOU KEEP THEM
I don’t usually dispense relationship advice, but I’m
not only a Certified Life Coach but certified in Relationship Counseling. After
having my own bumps in the road I began to study and assess my own mistakes.
Someone has got to have the answer. Some do. If you’re in a healthy
relationship and the work it takes to maintain your relationship seems easy
thank GOD up above. It doesn’t always happen like that.
We all have our issues. Women seek men that give
them stability and support. While men look for a woman that makes them feel
good about themselves. Did she or does she make him a priority? There are some
things that men and women both want.
this person affectionate? Do I feel loved and cared for with this person?
we share the same values? You don’t have to agree for your moral compass to be in
I a priority? Everybody has family and other obligations, and responsibilities.
Everyone can appreciate ambition. But would you allow your job to take priority
over the person you’re in relationship with?
this a person you genuinely like? Time is a precious commodity. Nothing more
hurtful than being in love or in like with someone and no one likes them but
you. Time to reassess the situation. And on those days that you may struggle it’s
great to know you love being with this person, and if you could you wouldn’t
but not least; is this the person I see myself with now and in the future?
worse than investing yourself into a relationship that won’t work; what’s worse
is when you’re in a relationship that’s toxic to you. You might even be with
the perfect man. He’s everything on your checklist and more. This woman is
ideal. She’s possesses all the qualities and attributes that you desire. And
guess what? That person could still not be the right one for you.
met someone beautiful, handsome, nice, great career; all the things you thought
you wanted? And it did nothing for you. You weren’t even attracted to them. Met
someone that had nothing on your checklist and you followed them around like a
lost puppy? That’s life. The most important attribute a person can possess is SELF-LOVE.
know too many people whose entire life is based on the opinions of someone
else. If you truly love someone why would you make your persona, base your
complete existence on them loving or not loving you? But that’s what so many
do. I know men and women, particularly women that have made their marriage,
their relationship their complete existence. It is a proven fact that first of
all that is too much pressure on anyone. Secondly, every person wants someone that’s
living their own life. It may be the very thing that attracts you to them.
Ambition is not a dirty word. For women we’ve been taught not to be aggressive,
don’t be a go-getter. Be the weaker sex. But your tenacity and taking the initiative
maybe the very thing that draws him in.
am taking care of a man that recently lost his wife of 67 years. Yes. I said 67
years. He’s driving himself crazy because he thought he would go before she
did. He never imagined life without her. Married young and faithfully attending
mass it was understood that he would pursue his career while she took care of
the children and their home. As his daughter explains, she created a monster.
There is no satisfying him. She made him her complete existence. He was her
life. Her sole purpose was to take care of him and their children. The children
understood that as their provider and protector his needs and wants ALWAYS came
not saying he isn’t a lovely man, he is. Now that he doesn’t have that one
person that’s only purpose was to serve him he’s lost. It’s only been a few
months. I wouldn’t expect anyone to adjust in months after almost 7 decades. They
were together a few years before getting married. Hopefully one day he can
sleep without thinking about the empty side of the bed.
been reading a lot of articles about married celebrities. One celebrity is
accused of cheating on their pregnant wife. Before you envision the long suffering
wife please know that this was the mistress that became the wife. It is a
proven fact that marrying the person you were having an affair with rarely
happens. Remember an affair is fantasy, an escape. You’re not in the middle of
having sex and saying, “Babe can you go check on the baby? Did you pay the
bill? Man how are we going to get out of this situation?”
the whole reason it’s easy to fall in love with the other woman, the other man.
There is no reality. It’s difficult to continue that fantasy. If reality isn’t
a mood breaker I don’t know what is. It’s not uncommon for infidelity to
continue. Remember men seek validation and appreciation. A man falls in love
based on how you make him feel about himself. If he hasn’t resolved these
issues for himself he’s on a constant quest. It’s not unlike the widower I just
told you about. Now that his wife isn’t here he’s having an identity crisis.
She was the one that boasted his ego and gave his life purpose. That’s a rare
gift that not many of us never experience.
or not; we’re all not that much different. Believe me. I hear gossip all the
time about celebrities. Unfortunately, there has to be some sliver of truth for
it to be printed.
what you see and hear as a learning tool. Right now there’s a vicious rumor
circling about a famous singer having herpes simplex 2; which is incurable. The
first part of the rumor was that he just settled a lawsuit for millions of
dollars due to allegedly giving a woman the virus. It got national attention
because the court documents state that the singer admits to having the virus.
People are speculating because of the timing. He is currently for all accounts
happily married for the second time. Who knows when this took place? It could
have happened before he got married. His ex-wife has been quick to tell
everyone that she is not infected. Now fast forward and the headlines are that
the singer is being sued by another woman for $10 million dollars. She insists
that their sexual encounter took place in April of this year only to hook up
again two weeks later. She obviously knew he was married, but had no problem
being intimate until she read about the other lawsuit.
“the truth may hurt, but a lie
can kill me.” Veela aka venus
you’ve got your chest all out because you pulled a celebrity. It’s been said a
million times that what is done in the dark always comes to the light. You can
bet your sweet ass it does. I look at those closest to me and I see how toxic
their marriage is. I do remember that when they were first dating he was still
married. He would talk incessantly about how terrible his wife was; only to
find out that none of it was true. He made her the bad guy yet he ended up
being the culprit. He is a miserable man whose toxicity is so damaging that he
has no friends or family that want to bother. Misery continues to love company,
but even the best martyr has their limit.
the examples go back to my original point; this miserable man presented a façade
that painted a completely different picture. He was charming, good looking, and
had a successful career. All that went away. One day the truth showed up. His
entire life was pretense. None of it was real. That’s the bad part about being
a liar or should I say a pretender. No one can keep it up for too long. Even if
you show up as a knight in shining armor; eventually the chinks in the armor
begin to show. Turned out he was a closet drunk. There were countless jobs and
opportunities that all went away. Always missing work after his weekend
benders. The charming suitor was gone and the abusive mean drunk showed up. She
could no longer hide the secret everyone knew. Now he’s completely isolated, not
just mean but cruel. Can’t even invite anyone from outside to the house because
he stays drunk; even when he’s not drinking he can’t quite sober up. The times
of sobriety are few and far between. He no longer cares about his grooming or hygiene.
All the things that won her over no longer matter. Truth is they never did. In
his mind he’s conditioned her to think that there’s nothing better for her.
grass is always greener in someone else’s yard. Celebrity or not, whatever you
did that made that person love you; whatever you did that made the two of you
fall in love has to continue. It’s easy to fall in love, but it takes work to
make it last. Whether you’re in love for the first time or married for 50 years
or more, it can last lifetime if you remember what you did to get there.
Look at God!! A former coaching client referred Patrick Collins to me for my Get Ready for Greatness Executive Coaching Series. Patrick is the son of world renowned Civil Rights activist and educator Marva Collins who was portrayed by Cicely Tyson in the made-for-tv movie - The Marva Collins Story.
After the first few coaching sessions, Patrick presented me with the honor of editing his new book - Learning Curve; Living in the shadow of Marvin Collins. He and I are now joining forces by combining my work in early childhood music education with his international early childhood education advocacy effort. He has agreed to serve as chairman of our board as we create the Marva Collins Foundation and the Marva Collins Early Childhood Education Scholarship Fund. The Marva Collins Foundation will be operating out of Chicago, IL where I am now opening a second office for CTI Marketing and the Marva Collins Scholarship will become part of our Cora Lee Cuff Fund here in Jacksonville, FL…
MY COACHING PHILOSOPHY
When I think in terms of quality of life I immediately think in terms of success and what a successful life should look like; what I have, what I own, how free I am to play and travel. But over the years I have recognized that there have been times when, even having all these things, I was still unhappy. Why is that? How can that be? We've been trained by society to believe and be defined by a big house, nice car, great spouse, kids going to good schools, great vacations and good looks. All part of the vision we hold onto to find happiness, success and live our lives to the fullest.
We work incessantly trying to reach these goals. I have had the great fort…