I'M STILL YOUR MOTHER






Gone are the days when you heard your Mother say, “I brought you into this world and I can take you out!”

Nobody has it like that. Your parents no longer have the final say in what happens in your life. We’ve become so politically correct that we are now dead ass wrong! I believe you should be educated and informed to make an intelligent decision. But there are exceptions to every rule. I don’t believe every teenager has the mental capacity to make life-altering decisions without counsel from their parents or guardian.

I love my daughter with all my heart. We don’t always agree, but she has enough respect to seek her Father’s or my counsel before making major decisions. Although she is grown and concentrating on her career; we still have those heart to heart conversations. Putting GOD first, I’m comfortable with whatever conclusion she comes to. The best thing about being a parent of a grown-up is seeing them fly and flourish.

I read an article that spoke of a Mother being horrified to find her daughter coming home from school with a Norplant device implanted in her arm. The woman had signed a permission slip for a field trip. Not sure if this was part of her sex education course. Needless to say; Youth Services had convinced this 16 year old to get this birth control device. When the Mother realized what happened she was told her state allows the teenager to make that decision and NEVER needed her consent. Even better; you can be 12 years old and have the procedure done. When the Mother voiced her outrage on her social media page she was quickly criticized and her daughter was praised for making such a mature decision.

“Would you rather her come home with a baby?”

“You should be happy about it.”

No one said:

The device is inserted into the arm and remains there for 3 years. It does not protect you from HIV or STDs. Most women have issues with their menstrual cycle and it may take quite a bit of time before your cycle becomes regulated again. No one told this girl that they don’t know all the side effects and nothing is guaranteed.

No one told me that the convenience of a Depo-Provera shot would have long-lasting consequences. For all I know my gynecologist probably received compensation for every woman that was given this shot. Here are some of the side effects that were never discussed before I made my uninformed adult decision.

*Abdominal pain

*missed or irregular periods

*blurred vision

*changes in skin color

*chills

*cough

*diarrhea

*eye pain

*fainting

*fast heartbeat

*pain in the chest, legs

*slurred speech

*shortness of breath

*vision changes

I could go on, but do you think I would have made the decision if I had known all the facts? Plus they don’t tell you it may take years before the Depo is out of your system. If you decide that you want to become pregnant after having the shot they don’t tell you that for some it might be an issue, or what the residual effects might be.

I think it’s interesting that girls and women of color are always encouraged to be the guinea pigs for these clinic trials in birth control. There is a common misconception that black teenagers will become teen mothers. Actually, white teenaged girls are more likely to have children out of wedlock, and be on some type of assistance. So why are organizations like Planned Parenthood an others singling out black teens? That’s another conversation.

My heart goes out to the Mother and the daughter in this situation. Neither did anything wrong. But the system did. As an adult sex is complicated; there is no one size fits all. When the daughter thinks she’s in love and wants to have sex the state will not be there. When you’ve been raised to wait for marriage and you go against your beliefs because you love him, the state won’t be there. Nothing is 100%. The state will not be there if you become pregnant. I understand the Mother’s fear and outrage. Whatever situation or consequences; her daughter knows her Mother will be there and the state will not. Whatever the protocol, the decision, that’s still her Mother and the state doesn’t love or care about this young woman the way her parents do. They should have respected that that is still her Mother. Even if the daughter had the right to make the decision it should have included her Mother. If anything adverse happens it will be the Mother left to pick up the pieces.








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