Tell It To Venus is for those who still have hope in love and relationships; even in the current and often discouraging environment in which we live. An environment that appears to offer a slim chance of having a healthy and happy relationship, or any possibility of marriage. We are still encouraged. We understand how easy it is to become tired and discouraged; Tell It To Venus is here to listen.
I'M STILL YOUR MOTHER
Gone are the days when you heard your Mother say, “I brought
you into this world and I can take you out!”
Nobody has it like that. Your parents no longer have the
final say in what happens in your life. We’ve become so politically correct
that we are now dead ass wrong! I believe you should be educated and informed
to make an intelligent decision. But there are exceptions to every rule. I don’t
believe every teenager has the mental capacity to make life-altering decisions without
counsel from their parents or guardian.
I love my daughter with all my heart. We don’t always agree,
but she has enough respect to seek her Father’s or my counsel before making
major decisions. Although she is grown and concentrating on her career; we
still have those heart to heart conversations. Putting GOD first, I’m
comfortable with whatever conclusion she comes to. The best thing about being a
parent of a grown-up is seeing them fly and flourish.
I read an article that spoke of a Mother being horrified to
find her daughter coming home from school with a Norplant device implanted in
her arm. The woman had signed a permission slip for a field trip. Not sure if
this was part of her sex education course. Needless to say; Youth Services had
convinced this 16 year old to get this birth control device. When the Mother
realized what happened she was told her state allows the teenager to make that
decision and NEVER needed her consent. Even better; you can be 12 years old and
have the procedure done. When the Mother voiced her outrage on her social media
page she was quickly criticized and her daughter was praised for making such a
“Would you rather her come home with a baby?”
“You should be happy about it.”
No one said:
The device is inserted into the arm and remains there for 3
years. It does not protect you from HIV or STDs. Most women have issues with
their menstrual cycle and it may take quite a bit of time before your cycle
becomes regulated again. No one told this girl that they don’t know all the
side effects and nothing is guaranteed.
No one told me that the convenience of a Depo-Provera shot
would have long-lasting consequences. For all I know my gynecologist probably
received compensation for every woman that was given this shot. Here are some
of the side effects that were never discussed before I made my uninformed adult
*missed or irregular periods
*changes in skin color
*pain in the chest, legs
*shortness of breath
I could go on, but do you think I would have made the
decision if I had known all the facts? Plus they don’t tell you it may take
years before the Depo is out of your system. If you decide that you want to
become pregnant after having the shot they don’t tell you that for some it
might be an issue, or what the residual effects might be.
I think it’s interesting that girls and women of color are
always encouraged to be the guinea pigs for these clinic trials in birth
control. There is a common misconception that black teenagers will become teen
mothers. Actually, white teenaged girls are more likely to have children out of
wedlock, and be on some type of assistance. So why are organizations like
Planned Parenthood an others singling out black teens? That’s another
My heart goes out to the Mother and the daughter in this
situation. Neither did anything wrong. But the system did. As an adult sex is
complicated; there is no one size fits all. When the daughter thinks she’s in
love and wants to have sex the state will not be there. When you’ve been raised
to wait for marriage and you go against your beliefs because you love him, the
state won’t be there. Nothing is 100%. The state will not be there if you
become pregnant. I understand the Mother’s fear and outrage. Whatever situation
or consequences; her daughter knows her Mother will be there and the state will
not. Whatever the protocol, the decision, that’s still her Mother and the state
doesn’t love or care about this young woman the way her parents do. They should
have respected that that is still her Mother. Even if the daughter had the
right to make the decision it should have included her Mother. If anything
adverse happens it will be the Mother left to pick up the pieces.
MY COACHING PHILOSOPHY
When I think in terms of quality of life I immediately think in terms of success and what a successful life should look like; what I have, what I own, how free I am to play and travel. But over the years I have recognized that there have been times when, even having all these things, I was still unhappy. Why is that? How can that be? We've been trained by society to believe and be defined by a big house, nice car, great spouse, kids going to good schools, great vacations and good looks. All part of the vision we hold onto to find happiness, success and live our lives to the fullest.
We work incessantly trying to reach these goals. I have had the great fort…
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