Tell It To Venus is for those who still have hope in love and relationships; even in the current and often discouraging environment in which we live. An environment that appears to offer a slim chance of having a healthy and happy relationship, or any possibility of marriage. We are still encouraged. We understand how easy it is to become tired and discouraged; Tell It To Venus is here to listen.
OWNING MY SEXUALITY
and got challenged today about my boundaries. It hurt to hear it. I was
questioned about my boundaries and the conversation I had. Why did I say that?
Was I bragging about my sexual prowess? Yes. Was it inappropriate? Yes. Was I
interested in the man I said it to? Yes. Looking back was it the most
ridiculous thing I could have said? Yes, yes and yes to all of the above! I
made a mistake and now I’m paying for it. I had to question myself and wonder
why I did it.
I didn’t have an answer until now. As a child I have been molested. Contrary to
what people think sexualizing a child doesn’t make them empowered sexually. It
does quite the opposite. I have been broken and weakened through that
experience. What followed having to fight off my own relatives? It became a vicious
relationship was about having sex because I thought it would keep him with me.
He left. It did nothing. Then the most serious relationship after my divorce
was about us breaking up, but him moving on and thinking I would be okay with
him now being married and wanting to continue to have sex with me. I said no.
Even though he has reached out to me at some difficult times I have not even
allowed him to have my phone number.
I had to
assess myself and I now have an answer. Being a girl, being a woman we are taught
early on to be submissive and we allow whatever happens to happen to us. We
have no choice in the decision. I am so much more than a sexual being, but I feel
I needed/need to take back my power. Looking back I see what I said was not
about my sexual prowess. It was about me feeling in control and knowing I have
control of my own sexuality not any man; not anyone who took advantage of me or
my sexuality. I’m talking as if it’s separate from me, a completely different
entity. Maybe it is. I am admitting to anyone who reads this and to myself that
I lack sexual maturity.
just as someone took advantage of me I have used my sexuality to control people
and situations because I didn’t know any better. That’s the immaturity talking.
I want better. I’m learning better. Sex without love leaves you cold. Love
without sex can leave your soul empty. I want a mature love that only comes
when you share the sex and love in a committed relationship. Something I haven’t
experienced before. Sex is not love, but then again love is not sex. But the
balance of the two working in harmony could be a beautiful thing.
Look at God!! A former coaching client referred Patrick Collins to me for my Get Ready for Greatness Executive Coaching Series. Patrick is the son of world renowned Civil Rights activist and educator Marva Collins who was portrayed by Cicely Tyson in the made-for-tv movie - The Marva Collins Story.
After the first few coaching sessions, Patrick presented me with the honor of editing his new book - Learning Curve; Living in the shadow of Marvin Collins. He and I are now joining forces by combining my work in early childhood music education with his international early childhood education advocacy effort. He has agreed to serve as chairman of our board as we create the Marva Collins Foundation and the Marva Collins Early Childhood Education Scholarship Fund. The Marva Collins Foundation will be operating out of Chicago, IL where I am now opening a second office for CTI Marketing and the Marva Collins Scholarship will become part of our Cora Lee Cuff Fund here in Jacksonville, FL…
MY COACHING PHILOSOPHY
When I think in terms of quality of life I immediately think in terms of success and what a successful life should look like; what I have, what I own, how free I am to play and travel. But over the years I have recognized that there have been times when, even having all these things, I was still unhappy. Why is that? How can that be? We've been trained by society to believe and be defined by a big house, nice car, great spouse, kids going to good schools, great vacations and good looks. All part of the vision we hold onto to find happiness, success and live our lives to the fullest.
We work incessantly trying to reach these goals. I have had the great fort…
With the state of the political climate; there is complete
unrest for anyone of color, or religion other than Christianity. Today is the
first day of Black History Month. Trump decided to make remarks acknowledging
the occasion. “Frederick Douglass has done an amazing job.” Does he even
know who Frederick Douglass was or is? I truly doubt it. He threw around a few
other names such as Dr. Martin Luther King. Does he understand that Douglass
championed abolition and women’s suffrage? Neither cause is something I think
Trump would support now; let alone the 1800’s. Douglass went from being a slave
to one of the greatest orators of his time. He has more in common with
President Obama then Trump who lacks character. It is worth noting that
Douglass married a white woman after his first wife died.He married Helen Pitts in 1884 until his
death in 1895. I don’t see Trump being a proponent of interracial marriage. He
must have misspoken as he often does. Why would today be any different?