Posts

Showing posts from October, 2014

OWNING MY SEXUALITY

Image
I felt and got challenged today about my boundaries. It hurt to hear it. I was questioned about my boundaries and the conversation I had. Why did I say that? Was I bragging about my sexual prowess? Yes. Was it inappropriate? Yes. Was I interested in the man I said it to? Yes. Looking back was it the most ridiculous thing I could have said? Yes, yes and yes to all of the above! I made a mistake and now I’m paying for it. I had to question myself and wonder why I did it.

Initially I didn’t have an answer until now. As a child I have been molested. Contrary to what people think sexualizing a child doesn’t make them empowered sexually. It does quite the opposite. I have been broken and weakened through that experience. What followed having to fight off my own relatives? It became a vicious cycle.

My first relationship was about having sex because I thought it would keep him with me. He left. It did nothing. Then the most serious relationship after my divorce was about us breaking up, but h…