NOT THAT CHICK
Over and over again I see women that don’t look like me. They don’t talk like me. And they certainly don’t think like me. Do other women like me exist or am I an anomaly? I certainly hope not. It’s strange to be in a place in your life where you’ve seen so much bullshit that your tolerance is all but exhausted. Not that I haven’t dished out some of my own. But the fake and phony is tired. Most women aren’t products of Captain Save A Ho nor are they damsels in distress that made it from stripper to pseudo celebrity.
I talk to these young girls and they aren’t vested in creating a successful career. They’d rather have 15 minutes of fame and possibly a reality show. Somehow we got it twisted; too many Nenes and Kandis. We have it all confused. We’ve convinced ourselves that notoriety is success. I was always told that infamous is not famous. It’s scary to see women, particularly women of color selling their souls for what they perceive as fame. The bar is being pushed further and further. First its show a little skin, then its appearing naked. Create a little drama, and then it’s a fist fight, or an out and out brawl. First you’re a video vixen then star of a sex-tape. Where do we draw the line?
A friend said we have to acknowledge the madness to stop the madness. I totally agree. The problem is so huge I’m not sure where to start. Does it start with our young girls and showing them by example? Or is it more crucial to get them when they’re teenagers and their self-esteem is tied up in looking like whoever they see on TV or imitate from a magazine? I haven’t figured it all out. How many times have you heard this mantra: EACH ONE TEACH ONE. There’s some validity to that statement. Maybe that’s where we begin.
I was blessed to have a Mother that set the bar high. She has her Masters from Northwestern University. She was Minister of Music at her church and an executive at her corporation. In the little spare time she had we did a lot of fun things together and I got to see her on some photo shoots. I even had the opportunity to go on a few business trips with her. For a long time I thought all Moms did EVERYTHING. And if they didn’t they still had the ability to do it all. Now we teach our children to do one thing and do it well. What happened to being versed in everything? There was always something to learn and become skilled in. My Mother worked, played for the church and went back to school all at the same time. It wasn’t considered phenomenal at the time, but what needed to be done.
Let’s go back to where we started. Raise the standards. I realize I’m not that chick because I was raised not to be.
I'M EVERY WOMAN by Chaka Khan