I know several men who are in relationships, have committed crimes, currently in prison, ruined relationships, have no relationship, and chosen to never grow up because they’ve allowed their sexual needs to rule their lives. Men think women can be controlled and manipulated by sex, but they are the ones who allow sex to dictate their lives. Men have married, had children based on a woman that makes them stand at attention.

So now you have men with wives they don’t like and children they wish they didn’t have. All based on a physical attraction. The word of GOD says to choose someone with whom you are evenly yoked. We have freewill. Few of us choose with our heart and mind. We only choose with our eyes and physical attraction. How many decisions would be made differently if you prayed for guidance and it wasn’t about who turned you on? Don’t get me wrong. Women are guilty too. We don’t want to be with someone unless he’s fine and he makes our panties wet. I remember a friend telling my daughter that she would never commit or marry someone unless she took them for a “test drive”. Luckily for me, my daughter didn’t take much stock in what my so-called friend said. This is the same person that’s fiancé decided he didn’t even like her let alone trust her, and called off the engagement and severed all ties. Not good, when you are living together with her children in the home and have been introduced to their son.

I quickly found she had no character. She introduced me to a man who would become my brother from another Mother. What I didn’t know until my friendship ended with her was she had tried to sleep with him (while she was in a relationship) and he turned her down. I guess not all men are led by their erection. Nothing was above board. She would introduce me to someone who was going to help us with technology for our business venture. Later I would learn that she slept with this man periodically and his wife had a problem with it. They would both attack me and try to take over a project that I created for myself.

It’s disappointing that some men can be controlled by the promise of some pussy. It’s even better to know that more men have too much integrity to allow that. I actually dated someone that was cheating on me from the beginning of the relationship. I unknowingly thought we were exclusive. When I confronted him his explanation sounded as if he was doing me some type of favor. He assumed that I was more concerned about being alone than the quality of man I was with. Not true. It was apparent that he tried to control me with sex. Sorry babe, you weren’t that good. What most men don’t realize is even the most sexual and sensual woman can compartmentalize that part of herself. When our focus is our children, our business and so many other things it’s easy. I know you look at these beautiful women and wonder why they’re alone. It is a choice.

There lies the difference in the sexes. Some men are convinced that they won’t survive without sex. Turn to that woman in bed. You don’t know her. I’m not even sure you like her. She’s just something to do so you won’t be alone. Not even someone you would be seen with in the light of day. So sad.

I grew up with a Father and his sexuality controlled him. Yes, he was a minister, but when these women gladly offered themselves up he gladly accepted to the detriment of his marriage and even the relationships with his children. He would marry four times and divorce each time. His first marriage he was unfaithful. The second marriage he was sleeping with her so-called friends and the married women in the church. The third marriage he was drawn in with the sex, but quickly became a Father for the third time. He had to get married. We all know what it looks like when you have a minister whose reputation precedes him; and not in a good way. The fourth time he had nowhere to go and needed someone to take care of him. After years of chasing him she won, or did she? It was a marriage of convenience, convenient for him. She was not beautiful. He didn’t want her, but he needed her at this time. He had gotten sick and had nothing……very sad story.

Most of us have allowed sex to make decisions for us, at least once. Inevitably, it’s a mistake or something we regret. I was with my former fiancé the day before he got married to someone else and went on his honeymoon. I didn’t know. I had to break it off. Even to this day the relationship would have continued if I had allowed it. Before he married I had heard a rumor about his engagement and asked how he was going to marry someone else when he still loved me? A moment of pleasure, a lifetime of consequences. Don’t be ruled by an orgasm. And please don’t be held hostage by an erection.


  1. Nice article. I thought you were going to go in another direction. Still, as long as we deal like animals, we'll have this problem for decades on end.


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