NOTHING LEFT UNSAID
For those who know me; I don’t always have the words to say. I’ve found writing to be my way to say what I ordinarily could not. My heart is heavy this morning. Some people leave an indelible mark on your life, your heart. Moni found me when I posted something on my Facebook page that resulted in me being personally attacked. I think I said something flippant (we all know how I can be) like, “Jesus is my boyfriend.” I also added that I was tired of women using the church as an excuse and rationale for why they had no personal relationship. Why did I say that? This one woman told me I was going to hell and how horrible I was. It was so bad that she inspired the blog post WHY ARE YOU SO BITTER? Here comes Moni with her words of wisdom. Not only did she post a comment, but sent me a personal message of encouragement. I found my kindred spirit.
Some people you just like the moment you connect; she was one. I often quoted Moni and looked for her writings on Facebook. I was so inspired. She would tell me. “Sweetie, I’m no Saint. I’ve done things in my life only GOD could forgive. I can talk dirt ‘cause I’ve done dirt.” That was real talk. You know someone is a good person, Heaven-sent when they leave you better than when they came. Moni did that for me. I miss that laugh. I loved how she would cuss when she was making a point she didn’t want me to miss. This is for her Father I never got to meet; who she adored. This is for the son, her only child that she loved more than life. I am so thankful that GOD sent your daughter, your Mother my way. I can’t thank you enough for sharing her.
This is to everyone who has loved on me and befriended me. I love you, and I thank GOD for every moment of your life.
This is to that friend or person I wronged. I ask your forgiveness. I apologize for not saying, “I’m sorry.” Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt you just because I didn’t acknowledge it. Charge it to my head and not my heart.
This is for being so consumed in my own shit that I didn’t see what you were going through. I apologize for my selfishness. You stay in my prayers. And GOD knows I feel every one of your prayers.
Last but not least, GOD forgive me for anything I’ve done that was a sin against Thee. FATHER I thank YOU for my life. I don’t want to waste any time feeling sorry for myself. My life is YOURS. It has always been.