“Veela Faye that’s the most exercise you’ve done the whole time,” said with a laugh from a completely self-assured soon-to-be Father. We had it all figured out. I was in my doctor Linda’s office. I was convinced that we were going to have a natural child birth for the good of our baby. Did I say “we”? Man that hurt like hell.

“Well, it’s like pressure,” that’s what she told me. My sweet Mom lied to me. Why did she lie?

Weeks before I had burst into tears telling my Mother, “What if I have the baby and I don’t know what to do with it?” This is when she assured me I would somehow miraculously know. I found out later that my Mother thought I’d be overwhelmed if I knew the truth.

My doctor had decided that due to me being dilated for some time we would induce labor. I walked around the birthing room trying to help the process while Terry laughed his ass off. He was entertaining as usual. He could and can always make me laugh. We waited for labor to kick in. During that time Mom called me from Chicago to see how I was doing. She figured I was okay when I was laughing hysterically because of Terry.

“Veela were going to break your water.” My doctor was telling me that would induce labor. She sent in one of her nurses with something that looked like a long ruler or stick with a big ass needle on the end. Wow! Is she really going to use that? And is she going to use it on me? Hell, I’m here. I was planning on leaving with a baby. This isn’t going to be bad. I don’t need no stinking drugs. I’m laughing. I’m not in pain right now. Mom said it was pressure.

“Veela are you sure you don’t want anything for the pain? Once I break your water the contractions will come and we won’t have time to administer any drugs.” The nurse was trying to be helpful. She was so cool and matter of fact about it that I was cool too.

“Nah, I don’t need it. I’ll be fine.”

Thirty minutes later, “Oh my GOD, oh my God it hurts like hell!!! Give me some drugs!”

“Veela are you using the breathing technique?”

“He he hooo…. he he hoo …I’m trying. It doesn’t work when the contracts are so close. There’s no time for recovery”, I said hysterically crying.

“It hurts! Oh GOD it hurtsssssss!!!!!!!”

“Veela I need you to focus….come on Veela you can do this.” Linda was trying to get me to push.

When I realized I wanted this thing out I pushed so hard Terry later told my Mother that he never until that moment saw someone push with their eyebrows, but I did. Lol Okay it’s funny now; lying on that table, not so much.

“Push Veela, push!” Not sure where that was coming from.

I heard a brief cry. “Terry would you like to cut the umbilical cord?”

“No, that’s okay I paid you for it,” Typical Terry answer.

There was a collective aaaaawww as the little baby girl looked up and smiled at her Father. “Terry are you okay? Do you need anything?” I know it’s a precious moment, but hey I’m on the table with my legs wide open. My 40 weeks trumps his five minutes (okay it was more).

“You’re going to sew that up, right? I think we might want to use that again,” typical Terry. At this point Linda was acting as if she could sew me up according to his specification. They all laughed, but I knew Terry was dead serious.

“Eeew yuck, can you clean her off?” Okay so I didn’t know they came out with all of that yucky stuff on them. They quickly cleaned Courtney Nicole off and handed her to her Father. I never saw Terry so happy and I saw those two fall in love instantly. I got up and took a shower. How did I do that? I think about it now and I’m amazed. Once I showered and dressed they asked me to breastfeed the baby to ensure that she was latching on correctly…..Dolly Parton had nothing on me, and my milk hadn’t completely come in at that time. They got BIGGER!! I was supposed to have been buffing my nipples to ready myself. Dummy me; I didn’t think it made that much difference. Damn! That little greedy baby was killing me. She had no problem taking to the breast.

Linda had measured and weighed Courtney. She was 22 inches long, 6 pounds and 5 ounces. That’s it! I gained all that weight and she’s this tiny baby?! What the hell! Linda gave us some simple instructions and we literally got up and left. The two of us came in and the three of us left for home.

We were scared as hell! I would tell you that story, but it’s pretty long. I’ll save it for another day. I did however have a long conversation about why my Mother lied and said it was pressure. It hurt like hell! But it’s strange. Right after you deliver there’s this euphoria that comes over you and your crazy ass has instant amnesia. And you think you could and would do it all over again. Regardless, it is the best thing I’ve ever done.


Popular posts from this blog