WHY CAN’T WE BE FRIENDS?
As of 2011 there is no longer a disproportionate amount of women to men. If you investigate the African-American community your male to female ratio is no longer greatly divided. Although when you get into the 65 and older range the ratio is 3 to 1. We have long been under the ruse that African-American women outnumber eligible men by staggering numbers. No longer true. Is this part of the hidden animosity? Mathematically it’s impossible for there to be 70% single Black women, or 42% Black unmarried women. Tell me which one is true.
There may be some inaccuracy in the numbers, but where are the “dateable” men? When Black women find a Black eligible man it becomes a competition. Too frequently we allow men to dictate the rules because we feel at their mercy. With the lack of camaraderie between women it becomes a competition. And a question of what you will settle for, and what your true expectations are. Some of us are so desperate to be in a relationship that we have no problem sharing a man. Why? Why are our standards so low?
Lately I see the effects of the haterade. Basic definition of Haterade: Consumed with negativity. Turn on the television. Listen to the radio. Look on the internet. Hate, hate, hate….you don’t have to go far to find it. The way Black women are portrayed continues to be negative. Oprah Winfrey can’t be the one and only example of a Black woman. Our role models are one extreme to another. Is Beyonce the only standard of beauty? Yes I could name others, but it’s become confused. Our daughters look to us for the standards. Statistically Black educated women outnumber Black men by an exaggerated number.
We have some phenomenal women within our community that we don’t celebrate, nor congratulate. Let’s go back to the basics. Many of my heroes are Sheroes, and Black; starting with my Mother. We don’t champion each other. We don’t celebrate our accomplishments. When’s the last time you told your Sister-friend or Sister what an AWESOME person they are? Or told another woman that you were happy and proud of what they’ve done.
There is power in being a woman. There is greater power when women come together. “A nation can rise no higher than its woman.” ~ Unknown