Showing posts from 2012


For years my guilty pleasure has been to watch Maury. I have seen some classic shows as a result.

“Maury, (they never say his name right) I am a 1000% sure that he is the father! Look Maury. See…look at his eyebrows, same eyebrows. And look at the hairline, same hairline.”

Maury: “Is there anyone else that could possibly the father?” “He was the only the person I slept with. And I am going to prove that he is the father!”

Of course the guy comes out saying there’s no way in hell that he’s the father and that she’s slept with all his friends and family. The woman always sounds so convinced that no one else could have fathered her child. After appearing on Maury for the 19th time she should have her doubts. I continue to watch the plight of Shenika. Hoping that this will be the time she finally finds her child’s father. After being humiliated time and time again; divulging her sorted sexual history; you’d think she’d be too embarrassed to even try.

I shouldn’t laugh at her misfor…



Raul Midon, RIchard Bona - Jazz in Marciac 2011



Due to an overwhelming response we have to change the venue of Sneak & Eat 4 Chicago Stand Up to accommodate the people of Chicago and to provide free parking. We cant wait to Stand Up with you Chicago… New Location the Bridgeport Art Center 1200 W 35th Street…. Now we have Free Entry, Free Parking, Free Drinks and Free Food ....

*****FREE ENTRY, FOOD & DRINKS**** Join us for a day of fashion, food, fun and great people. Sneak & Eat 4: Stand Up will bring together Chicago’s most exclusive brands while offering attendees access to the newest trends. This is the ultimate buy, trade, and sell event of the year for all sneaker addicts.

When: December 16th, 2012

Where: River East Art Center 435 East Illinois Street Chicago, IL 60611

Sneak & Eat is divided into two segments: the TruStar Youth segment and the Coorslight adult segment. The youth segment consists of games, entertainment and non-stop fun for children of all ages. The adult segment is comprised of Chicago’s most r…


Discover gender inaccuracies to see your guy in a new light By Brendan Tapley

What makes a man? The mythology surrounding this question still looms large. So much so that men often experience a hidden battle: whether their decisions should be self-determined or dictated by how masculine they will seem to others. Do I let my wife know how much something is bothering me or will that come across as not being in control? Do I speak my mind at work or does that risk being seen as too emotional? If I take a stand on a principle that bucks the boys’ club, will I lose status? Luckily, women can be strong advocates for change by encouraging men to evolve and expand beyond the stereotypes. Take a look at the 10 biggest falsehoods about men that, when debunked, can lead us to true masculinity.

Myth #1: Men Are Not Emotional This may come as a surprise, but men are probably more emotional than women. How is this possible? Unlike femininity, masculinity doesn’t permit emoting on a regular …


Before I delve into my thoughts and opinions; let me start by saying that relationships should be a place of rest, acceptance, and not a place of fear. They should be our refuge. A place we reveal our true selves to one another and enjoy true intimacy that reveals our soul’s identity. So many of us have become tattered and torn from previous relationships. Imperfect parents. Imperfect past experiences. All culminating to where we are. How did we completely separate sexuality from spirituality?

We can’t have a healthy spirituality and healthy relationships without a healthy sexuality. Sexuality is about our relationship to ourselves and how we relate to one another as men and women; both physically and emotionally. Our relationship with ourselves goes beyond our genitals to every aspect of our lives; from our body and mind to how others relate to us as a physical and spiritual being. We have to reconcile the spiritual and sexual to enjoy a healthy relationship. It sets us apart yet b…


1. Never let your tracks show (self-explanatory)

2. Always travel with your weave glue (or hair pins in case a track falls out)

3. Always pat your head when it’s itchy (patting won’t pull out the tracks or make your hair messy)

4. Never lie and say “it’s all mine.”

5. Never make your weave too greasy (there’s nothing worse than a greasy weave, believe me)

6. Always travel with your brush (Weave gets frizzy. Gotta keep it looking lush)

7. This rule is so overrated: keep your Remy and Yaki completely separated

8. Gel down your edges if they’re nappy (weave and nappy roots — that’s just tacky)

9. Nine should’ve been number 1 to me; ALWAYS know when to take out your weave!

10. Buy a wig just in case. If your hair is looking rough, put on a wig to cover it up.

*Source: @Urbancomedynet


People ask me why I haven’t married again. Why are you still single? I have not made being in a relationship a priority; something I think has to take place for it to happen. Right now it’s just not my focus. This has been the first time in my life that I’m not in a relationship or dating someone for a significant amount of time. A position I had never foreseen. When did being in a relationship become last on the list? Not really sure. Maybe it was when my business took a financial hit that left me and my best friend and business partner devastated. Maybe it happened when my Mother’s health began failing and she needed me. Or it could be getting through this tough year of residency with my daughter?

No one told me that I wouldn’t meet someone who would be a help to me, but my pride and independence just don’t see it. The only one who can get me through this challenging time is GOD HIMSELF. It is my faith that I stand on. It is the prayers of my Mother that keep me focused. It is i…


I don’t claim to be an historian, but if we don’t learn from our history we will inevitably repeat it. Many of us take for granted our right to vote. We’ve forgotten our history. Yes Lincoln freed the slaves, but it wasn’t until 1870 the 15th Amendment was made official and allowed voting, overriding earlier laws that prohibited Black voters. Some Blacks were also appointed to elected positions.

As expected many southern states resisted this legislation and denied Blacks their voting rights. This went on for many years. Congress created Civil Rights Division of the Department of Justice and the Commission on Civil Rights in 1957, but there still was no relief. In 1960, a law allowed federal courts to appoint voting referees to oversee voter registration after claims of discrimination. In 1964, some provisions were made but the literacy tests, poll taxes, and other agenda-laden practices were allowed to remain in place.

Bloody Sunday marked a day of tragedy. Law enforcement office…


It’s not easy being a black man in today’s society. It ain’t easy being a woman either. We are expected to be strong, independent, and the breadwinner. Not an easy task for anyone. Because there are so many single-parent homes now headed by women we’ve began to take on roles we didn’t choose. There is confusion in our roles. You’ve got mama’s boys that are now living this entitled life. Why? You have female dominated homes where their mother has raised them with this sense of entitlement. There are young women who have little respect for men due to the lack of interaction with their fathers. If you haven’t been raised by a man how would you possible recognize him?

There was an incident in Ohio that received massive media attention and made me contemplate why any young woman would have the audacity to mistreat a man and not fear retribution. This young woman went on the attack without cause. It wasn’t about the bus driver. I believe there was hostility towards men in general that sh…


If we use the term in a derogatory manner then how can it inexplicably be a term of endearment? Blessings and curses can’t come out of the same mouth. One minute I’m touting what a “bad bitch” you are the next I’m just calling you a bitch. Something is missing in translation.

We have heard women greet each other with this phrase as if it’s normal salutation. We treat this greeting as if we said, “Hello.”, or “Good to see you.”

When this becomes the norm we’ve crossed a line. Or is it just a cry that our vocabulary needs to improve? We’ve been told that using profanity is a sign of a lack of an extensive vocabulary. You remember. You’ve heard your mother and grandparents tell you this time and time again. Simple truth in an old wives’ tell.

We continually degrade each other as if there’s humor in calling each other names. I’ve even done it in my own family. Whatever we were fixated on became the running joke. For example we were calling each other names like ice cream ho, video ga…


Anybody can be a ho. I promise you that. We all like to cover it up, but we all can stink. Perfume doesn’t cover it up; only it makes it fouler. 1.Church Ho: Believes that because they come to church Sunday morning they’re saved. Usually they have on the same outfit they had on at the club last night. Sorry girl. Just because you met him at church doesn’t mean GOD excuses you sleeping with him the first night. 2.Preacher Ho: Since I’m on the subject I might as well go there. lol This is one of my favorites. GOD rest his soul; my Daddy was one of those. He slept with everyone woman in his church, married; single, divorced…didn’t matter. Daddy had women chasing after him and he ALWAYS let them catch him. He even had married women telling their husbands that it was okay because he was their pastor. 3.Deacon Ho: Every Sunday my Mother use to play for a certain church and the first row of deacons couldn’t wait until she sat down at the piano. Okay so Mommy had a tendency to w…

WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?! by Sheryl Felecia Means

"African American, African, Arab, Dominican, Puerto Rican, Columbian, Egyptian, South American, East Indian, Saudi… I have news for you; when people see color we are all the same. They don't distinguish us being one nationality or another. To the world we're the same. If that's how we appear and how we're treated then, why don't we come together? How powerful would we be if people of color united?" - Venus

It was Toni Morrison who shed a modern day light on a late nineteenth century issue when she said, “In this country, American means white. Everybody else has to hyphenate.” This concept, basic though it may seem, resonates with old sentiments that are taken for granted today.

The handle “Hyphenated American” first originated between 1890 and 1920 as a way to simultaneously identify and denigrate American citizens of foreign origin. By the year 1904, it was considered a wholly derogatory term and those who hyphenated by placing their country or continent…


“I don’t have any one in my family dealing with that.”
“That’s not my sister.”
“She’s not my Mother.”
“It doesn’t affect me.”
“Well, I don’t know anyone like that.”
“That doesn’t happen to men!”
“That would NEVER happen to me.”

We live in a rather apathetic world. If it doesn’t affect you or someone you love you could care less! It’s always someone else’s problem. AIDS….someone else’s problem, cancer is someone else’s problem, domestic violence is someone else’s problem, poverty is someone else’s problem, lack of education is always someone else’s problem. “I got mine!” Haven’t you ever heard someone say that? I have.

“That’s her problem. I don’t like to get involved.”

First Scenario: Woman falls deep in love. She meets this man at church. She’s been raised that you don’t dare have sex before marriage. Not even a consideration. They date and it’s a big deal. She’s the perfect candidate as First Lady of the church. He’s an up and coming young preacher. I know I haven’t gotten to the “H…


Rarely have I met or connected with people who have shown such tremendous kindness to me. How do you thank someone who loves on you and has prayed with you in the midst of their own struggle? The Blacketts have prayed with me, checked on me, loved on me while faithfully taking care of their beautiful Nia. I don’t have any words right now, but I just wanted to say how much I love their family, and thank them for being a part of mine. It is a blessing to have a good child. We know Wendy and Terence are blessed.

Nia* is an amazing daughter, sister, friend and overall a fascinating human being. Originally born in Barbados to a British Dad and Bajan Mom, she moved to the UK in 1996 where she attended state school and college – winning many awards for engineering projects. After embarking on a (4) year Computer Science degree @ the University of Essex - she finished Uni and moved to London for a couple of years in search of work and social activity.

Like most young people living away from h…


"Women are taught to play games and be coy. So no you won't get a direct answer. We are complicated. Hard to figure us out when most don't know themselves." ~ Veela aka Venus (Facebook status)

My first book, "Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking" and my second paperback, "Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You're REALLY Thinking" were motivated by the first two of your four comments in your status.

To be fair, men engage in and employ manipulative "head games" too, so it's not exclusively women who are manipulative. How does one know when they are dealing with a person who is manipulative and into 'head games'?

1) Manipulative people like to use vague, ambiguous, and enigmatic language;
2) Manipulative people do not like to give direct, straight-to-the-point responses; They do not like to say, "Yes, I am interested in XYZ," or "No, I am not inter…


I know this posting is going to strike a nerve with a lot of people. If you never read my postings again because of it I understand. Don’t get me wrong. I have been a faithful viewer of The Oprah Show for years. I remember when she had an afro and it was A.M. Chicago. Oprah is one to be admired. She has worked diligently to build her career. As she began her spiritual journey we traveled the path with her. But many of you have given her a place in your life that only GOD deserves. Many have selective memory. You’ve obviously forgotten a time when Oprah wouldn’t acknowledge GOD and would say things like a “Higher Being” or a “Higher Power.” But she didn’t say GOD.

Listen I’m not knocking her. When we know better we do better. Part of it I attribute to not being evolved enough to give credit where credit is due. The other side is the skeptic that says she wouldn’t say or acknowledge GOD for fear of retribution from her audience; which we all know is primarily white women. Believe me; s…


Those are three words that can kill or begin a relationship. Some relationships end because they’re not having sex while others begin because all they do is have sex. Too many people equate sex with love. For most women we see sex as a sign of commitment. For other others it means absolutely nothing, but getting off in that moment. Are people still having sex on the first date? Even in the wake of HIV/AIDS, STDS, and things I can’t pronounce; people are still having unprotected sex. Why? I don’t pretend to know the answer. I do know everyone wants to feel wanted and loved and sex does release those endorphins that make us feel loved.

As a woman and entrepreneur mistakenly my sisters before me have used it in trade. Why else would a businessman have the audacity to ask me for sex as part of their incentive package? You have no idea how disgusting I find that. Speaking about it I need a shower. There’s not enough money in the world! Just like pork bellies and oil are traded on the ope…


1.Real men cook.

2.Real men cry.

3.Real men raise children.

4.Real men take responsibility.

5.Real men fight when there’s something to fight for.

6.Real men love their wives.

7.Real men know how to love just one woman.

8.Real men get married.

9.Real men have families.

10.Real men help in the house.

11.Real men go to work.

12.Real men teach by example.

13.Real men are head of the household.

14.Real men love.

15.Real men are World Leaders.

16.Real men attract real women.

17.Real men teach boys to be men.

18.Real men change their home, street, community, city, state, country, and world.

19.Real men wear their pants on their waist.

20.Real men don’t follow trends they set them.

*Last but not least; real men love GOD.


The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

Where do I start? I’m at a turning point in my life that many of us have to deal with. When do we say, “No more!” It doesn’t matter if it’s business, a relationship, or even our family dynamic. Everyone has their breaking point. I’m at mine. Here are some points that have drawn me to the conclusion it’s TIME TO LET GO.

1.When you don’t remember why you loved this person it’s TIME TO LET GO.

2.When you realize you don’t even like this person anymore and you can’t manage…


Are we monogamous by nature? Is it a misconception or a tradition we’re expected to practice? Lately I’m rethinking my ideas and understanding of a relationship. One thing is a constant; GOD has to be the foundation. As a woman we’re taught that marriage and sex go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other. You give your body only to your husband. To engage in sex or intimacy without the benefit of marriage is sacrilegious. It is a sin against self, a sin against your GOD.

What becomes confusing is the conflict with your heart, your beliefs, and even your body. If you think back to the first time you got those butterflies you were probably a child, maybe a teenager. It was overwhelming. You couldn’t articulate your feelings. For me personally, I remember being so into my first boyfriend that I didn’t know how to let go of it later in life. I did have an incident where I had this strange banter with a friend/business associate. To be perfectly honest, I was sure he hated m…