Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
~Matthew 5:9

Blessed are the peacemakers - Those who strive to prevent contention, strife, and war; who use their influence to reconcile opposing parties, and to prevent lawsuits and hostilities in families and neighborhoods. Every man may do something of this; and no man is more like God than he who does it.

Being a child of divorce is not easy, but it’s never been my excuse. My Mother would never allow it. She always considered those who made excuses to be weak. She never made excuses for herself; so making excuses wasn’t even a consideration. As a little girl I lived with my Grandfather while my parents went through their divorce. It wasn’t that unusual for my Mother. She watched her own parents go through a painful divorce. Grandfather left Detroit after losing his grocery store and property. It was an even sadder occasion because my Grandmother was the reason the family lost the business. Even with that being said; Grandfather worked diligently to prepare for his family to join him. Ironically, Grandmother refused because she was involved in illegal gambling activity. Thank GOD for small favors. She had no idea that Vegas would be the capital of gambling.

For years Grandmother had made my Mother believe that her Father had abandoned her and her siblings. It was all a lie. Grandfather sent every dime home to Detroit. It never occurred to him that his children were doing without due to my grandmother’s gambling addiction. My Mother still remembers the Christmas they spent with ice cycles in the house. This was all because my Grandmother wouldn’t tell the truth. A lot of years were lost before my Mother and Grandfather reconciled. She didn’t know.

I can see now why my Mother went out of her way to treat my Father with the utmost respect. I never knew anything bad about my Father; not from her. I spent summers with him. My Mother bought the ticket. I received birthday cards and Christmas presents from my Father through my Mother. I was going through my own divorce when my Father called me for the first time on his own to wish me Happy Birthday. It was my Father that moved me from Kansas City, Missouri to Chicago. My half-brother (I hate that term.) Bo (James, Jr.) drove my car back to Chicago. My Daddy didn’t always come through, but when I needed him most he was there. A lot of credit has to be given to my Mother for cultivating our relationship.

I am so glad that I followed my Mother’s example. I love the closeness and relationship my daughter has with her Father. It is the most precious thing to see them together. I think Terry is one of the best people I know. They have mutual admiration for each other. I have always said that the relationship a daughter has with her Father dictates her life. So far the future looks bright for Courtney. I’m excited about what her future holds.

My daughter learned from Nana. She is the first to try and be the peacemaker in every situation; whether family or friends. She is a happy person that brings joy to everyone’s life. Thank you Mom for the example; my life is better, my child’s life is better because you chose the high-road. Did my Father do some hurtful things? Yes. Could my Mother have repeated the tragic legacy her Mother gave her? Yes. Thank GOD she showed mercy and grace to me, and to my Father. The same mercy and grace extended to her by her Heavenly FATHER.

I know it doesn’t always feel like it, but the choices you’ve made so your children can have a relationship with their parents means everything. Whether you’re the Mother that makes sure Dad can visit with his son even though he has never paid you a dime of child support. (By the way, my Mother never enforced child support. Truth be told, I’m sure she sent him money at times.) Or you’re the Father who never speaks ill of your ex even though she has called you every name in the book. As children we emulate the examples we’re given. We play dress up and copy everything you do and say. You’re not just are parents; you are our heroes. As adults we live what we learn. What’s the legacy you’ve given your children?

DAUGHTERS by John Mayer


Popular posts from this blog