MY BROTHER NEEDS HIS MOTHER
GOD! I hope he doesn’t read this. I have a play-brother that I think the world of. He is kind, considerate, brilliant, and even handsome. All the things you want your brother to be. He is a good Father, and many more things that I can’t say without giving his identity away. All these attributes, but there is something broken; something deep inside. In the silence and in the quiet; you can hear it. A heart that is irrevocably broken. Not by disappoint, not even by a woman, but by his Mother.
I don’t know the entire story, but I can’t divulge the pieces I know. I know that his late Father was his role model and has made him into the man he is. But I can’t discount his Mother and the way she raised him. Talk about a class act. He is all that. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. I feel so close to him that when I saw the missing pieces I offered to share my Mommy. Hey, that ain’t easy for an only child. (I know. My Father had other children, but my Mother didn’t.) Lol I call him my brother from another Mother. The dissension has led to a great divide in their family. I’ve never seen anything like it. Christmas, holidays, nothing is put aside.
I have always contended that it takes a Father to raise a son, but what are the affects when you don’t have the nurturing of your Mother? Or what if it stops at a certain age? Or in adulthood? What happens? I’ll tell you what I’ve observed. I see a man diligently struggling for his Mother’s approval. He would never admit it, but it’s true. I am the only woman besides my Mother that he trusts. Hard to have a relationship or do business if you don’t trust. He would love to be in a relationship, but he needs some mending first. His Mother could make it all better, but she continues to be cold and unfeeling. Her new husband has this Svengali effect on her. Who would imagine that this extremely educated and intelligent woman would be so easily influenced?
I’ve watched women promise my brother the world and he is completely unaffected. I mean nada. Women have flown him around the world on the premise of wanting to do business. The agenda quickly changes. I admire the fact that he is not easily swayed. Why does this man have more respect for these women than they do for themselves? Okay here comes the elephant in the room. Even though he has dated women of color (his ex-wife); he prefers everything, but black women. Don’t you get it?! The one woman that he needed most has rejected him; his Mother! She just happens to be black. Now do you get it?! I know this is speculation, but there is a correlation between the two. It’s a proven fact that men seek women that possess the qualities of their mothers. I’ve never heard a man say he didn’t want someone like his Mother; unless she was just no good.
I feel bad for my brother. She has scarred him for life. He just wants to be loved like everybody else, but it seems a daunting task. I believe you love who you love, but now you have a brother who is avoiding black women like the plague; whether he realizes it or not. Mothers you can raise a nation, or destroy it with your arrogance.
ANYONE WHO HAD A HEART by Luther Vandross