LIVING WITH THE PAIN



I have so much on my mind that I don’t know where to start. All week long this scripture has been on my mind; “38 I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~Romans 8:38-39

I just needed to be reassured. It’s been a tough week, a tough month, a tough year….hell it’s been a tough time. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had to face some challenges I never saw coming. As my good friend says, “It’s not business as usual.” And they are damn right! As I dig myself out of this hole; I promised myself that I’d never nor will I ever be in this position again! I mean that from the depths of my soul. GOD said that even in the depths of my own personal hell HE would be there. I’m not there but I’ve had a few visitations. At least it felt that way. I heard a rapper say, “Sometimes you have to go through hell to get to Heaven.” I’m ready to be on the other side.

All of this has been on my mind because of what I just experienced with my Mother. We’ve spent more time together in the last six months than we have in years. Don’t get me wrong. I love my Mother. She truly is my best friend, but I had no idea the kind of pain she lives with every day. A few years ago she had back surgery to relieve her agony. I thought it was the cure. Fast forward to this week and she was having a procedure to try to manage the pain. Imagine on a scale of 1 to 10 that on a typical day your pain is a 7. That’s what she’s dealing with. It was disheartening to hear the doctor tell her that she won’t know for at least three days if this worked. Secondly, it’s the first time I truly understood that they don’t expect to correct her problem or alleviate the pain. He told us that would never happen. The best she could hope for would be to bring the level of her pain down for manageability. In other words; she’s expected to live with the pain. My tolerance for pain is low, but I watch my Mother continue to live her life through this unbearable pain. I couldn’t do it.

I see this as an analogy for our lives. Some of us are experiencing loss. Others have had to start over. We’ve lost everything we had. Some have a broken heart. Some of us are in such pain from broken relationships that it’s as if we’ve had to attend our own funeral. When I got divorced many years ago I went into mourning as if there was a death in the family.
When you look at your life you have to know that every heartache, every failure, every disappointment was for your good or GOD’S glory. This is the New International Translation of The Prayer of Jabez; mixed with the way it was taught to me. “9Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.” 10Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory! And that your hand would be with me, and that you would keep me from evil so that it may not cause me pain.” Come faith come and God granted all that they requested. ~ I Chronicles 4:9-10

Did you catch that? Jabez’s name meant bore in pain. Literally his Mother knew that even through her struggle, even through her pain she was giving birth to greatness. This is a Word for me and for you. Right now things are difficult, but even through your sickness, your struggle, your pain, you are giving birth to greatness. You’re in place where GOD is taking ordinary people and allowing them to do extraordinary things. Right now you trust GOD so much you could walk on water. You do believe you could fly. But wait that’s not the praise report. Listen to the prayer. Jabez knew it was done before he finished praying! Okay you can shout now. :-) With that in mind I can live with the pain. I must be giving birth to something big.

BLESS ME (Prayer of Jabez) by Donald Lawrence

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