FROM A BLACK MAN’S PERSPECTIVE: WHAT DOES IT TAKE FOR A BLACK WOMAN TO GIVE ME WHAT I NEED WHEN THE OTHER RACES ARE SO WILLING?

I’m going to throw caution to the wind on this one. lol My reaction was WOW when my friend said this to me. He wasn’t speaking for all men, but he did speak for a lot! Not that I’m saying I’m advocate for interracial relationships (nor even the poster child), but I am simply a proponent of love. There is truth to the old adage, “You love who you love.”

One of the most serious relationships I ever had was with a man older than my parents. And yes he was white. More important and significant is the fact that he loved me. He loved me at a time when I didn’t feel so lovable. I was coming out of a failed marriage and had lost all my confidence. Somehow he saw me in a way I couldn’t see myself. The most touching thing he ever did was dropping everything to see about me. He was a successful businessman, and his time really was his money. I’ve never forgotten that. There’s something about someone who loves you enough to make you a priority.

Maybe that’s the real issue? Not that women of a different race are quicker to make black men a priority, but black women don’t feel like this is reciprocated. When did black men and women become so distrusting of one another? I’m not sure. But I would be doing ALL women an injustice if I were to stereotype women of another race. Pushover?? Easy? lol It doesn’t work like that.

I do have a good friend who seems to be drawn to “exotic looking” women. Or should I say anyone not black. :-) I’m just telling the truth. Truth is I think it’s a symptom of his unresolved “Mommy Issues.” Well since we’re telling the truth; I have some “Daddy Issues.” But I’m the same one who asked my Daddy if he was white at the age of 4(four). lol Now that’s funny.

In life you are drawn to what you know. Life happens. And sometimes you fall in love with someone who isn’t at all what you expected. Maybe it’s because you see their heart; their spirit. There are no boundaries and you see them for who they are. I’m not gonna dictate who you should date or even who you should love. If you like it; I love it!!

Comments

  1. I thought you were gonna talk about this from a black mans perspective. But i dont see it. Sounds like your giving a black womans perspective of a black mans perspective. relating a black man not wanting to date a black woman to his "mommy issues" .. yeah i dont know bout that! ... just sayin

    This line: "Maybe that’s the real issue? Not that women of a different race are quicker to make black men a priority, but black women don’t feel like this is reciprocated."

    This line is perplexing .. Sounds like your saying that black women dont feel that if they make a "black man a priority that a black man wont make her one back" ... if thats indeed what your saying .. How is it once again that this particular blog is from "A black mans perspective"?

    This was kinda disappointing ... smh

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree. I kinda punked out. lol Can I have a do-over? I guess telling it all is gonna piss some people off, but hey what the hell! lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey if your gonna tell it ...tell it! Gotta be balanced when it comes to these kinda issues. Pissing people off because your being honest comes with the territory.

    Permission for a Do-over? ... Granted LOL

    ReplyDelete
  4. Did you read (THE REMIX!)? I want to know if I did better this time.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Frankly, I think we all, men and women, forgot or never learned the in's and out's of what it means to be in relationship. We are so quick to take the easy route to finding the person that is for us because of our own insecurities. Before ...you even begin to try to be in a relationship, have one with yourself. That means finding out who you really are and not the image that you wish to be, and then loving yourself unconditionally...never thinking you are perfect, but golden...finding your real value and respect it and how you strive to be better, all by yourself. Then, and here is the hard part, find a mate that has done the same thing. No one has to be or should be submisive in any relationship. As a matter of fact, submissiveness is the poison of any relationship. I always somewhat jokingly say that I like my women like I like my coffee...black and strong...with a little sugar every once and awhile and I would hope my woman would want me the same way. The overused but under utilized codes should be MUTUAL REPSPECT AND LOVE. Chores around the house and with our children should be evenly divided. Afterall, we both live in that house. We should understand (appreciate the differences), overstand (appreciate the potential for the other's growth) and stand (appreciate the simularities) our mates and if we can't do all three consistently then we shouldn't be with them in the first place. And we should want to feed all of those things for ourselves and for our mate. If I wanted a submissive woman I would just have another child. Yes, I do want to be loved and catered to but I also want to love and cater too. We are not as judicious as we should be when taking on a mate. I am not saying we should hold long investigations before we mate up, but be conscious of that inner voice in us. You know the one that says "this is a person I can live with and truly appreciate" as opposed to "this is a person that would help me be less lonely". I could go on and on, but I think you get the gist.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I would like to just put the color card aside for now and address the fact that we are ppl. We as men and women would like to be treated with respect and to beheld up as objects that should be cherish because we all are precious. We also can say that God will lead us to one another but I have a mixed on that because God does not codone foolishness!

    I think we just need to take a look at our lives and behavior toward one another. We have become cold toward one another as men and women. We need to then do a self examine of how we are carrying ourselves and to really do some cleaning of the closets.

    Most time you just see hurt ppl hooking up with hurt ppl and when things get tough resort to hurting one another. Because there was never a complete healing process.

    We as ppl need to begin the healing process for self that will be the only way to begin a fresh relationship in your life.

    So as a black man I feel we just need to heal and forget and just treat the next person like a person and everything else will flow!

    ewjr

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

LOOK AT GOD! COACHING CLIENT PENS NEW BOOK ABOUT HIS FAMOUS MOTHER, MARVA COLLINS by Richard Cuff

HOW YOU GET THEM IS HOW YOU KEEP THEM

WHO IS THE NEW FACE OF STEPIN FETCHIT?