UNREQUITED FRIENDSHIP

I know we’ve talked about love. But where does that begin? Ever been with someone and it didn’t work out? You realized in the last moments of trying to resuscitate the relationship that you were never friends. Wow! It’s not only devastating to lose a relationship, but to know that “friendship” was never a foundation makes you wonder how you ever got together.

Friendship requires an unconditional commitment. Just like a solid marriage, you’re required to stay through the good and bad times. That’s the importance of having GOD as the foundation in all relationships. As your friend I may not agree with everything you say or do, but I would not abandon you based on our disagreements. Example: I have a close friend that I truly treasure. We don’t see each other that often, but when we do it’s always a good time. I always wonder why we don’t do it more often. Life happens and time gets away from us. Years ago we had a disagreement about something involving her family. We didn’t speak to each other for a minute. Now I can’t even remember exactly what the disagreement was. I do know that I had something life-altering happen and my friend was the first one I called. We prayed and cried together. The past incident was never even mentioned.

Someone told me, “If someone truly cares for you then they will tell you the truth. I wouldn’t want you to lie to me.” I take that to heart. Lately friendship has been my focus because I find I know a lot of people, but consider few to be friends. I find most people don’t know how to be a friend. Nor do they know how to reciprocate friendship. I don’t take friendship lightly. I consider my closest friends to be family. You don’t get to pick your family, but friends are chosen and to be treasured.

As a friend I accept you as you are. But in all honesty, I hold you to a higher standard than others. I’m not offering or expecting anymore from you than I would from myself. The hardest lesson has been to establish boundaries. We sometimes have unrealistic and rather high, and somewhat unattainable expectations of our friends. I believe in GOD-given friendships, but they are few and far between. I’ve been blessed in my life to experience that kind of friendship. The Word says, “A friend loves at all times.” That’s not that easy to do. We all do some unlovable things. Only a true friend can love you through those times.

Learn to accept things as they are. Learn that everyone doesn’t deserve the pleasure of being up close and personal with you. Unrequited friendship means that person is incapable of returning to you what you give out. Here’s the hardest lesson; learn to give without expecting anything in return. GOD will bless you for it, but don’t look to be blessed by others. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. Do so without expectation. That’s what being a blessing is really all about.

Comments

  1. Vee Daniels: Yes Vee...and this is one of my FAVS: "Wow! It’s not only devastating to lose a relationship, but to know that “friendship” was never a foundation makes you wonder how you ever got together".

    It's AMAZING and PUZZLING to me at the same time ...to see the dissolution of a relationship that was to be built on FRIENDSHIP and LOVE! Let's switch that around "LOVE and FRIENDSHIP"; w/o Love, there will NEVER really be a TRUE friendship! If you can quickly dissolve a relationship w/me, YOU NEVER really LOVED ME! Plain and Simple! Yes...we are human and at times make some terrible mistakes! This is why we have tendency to HURT the ones we LOVE (unintentionally) and at times, (intentionally for the FAKE ones)! You can ONLY HURT those that you are close to OR....those who ALLOW you to become close to them! (JUDAS)

    I'm talking AGAPE LOVE, the LOVE OF CHRIST! This is why it is sooo easy to get out of a relationship because the LOVE was never there! Thus far, CHRIST is the ONLY ONE who can demonstrate such LOVE and STILL while we were yet sinners and ANTI-CHRIST, He still DIED and gave His LIFE for wretches such as me, and still call me FRIEND! Now that's LOVE! Hallelujah!!!

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  2. I absolutely LOVE this post! ...and AGREE w/its entirety! Words cannot even begin to express the appreciation for this post!

    THANK YOU!!!!

    Vee

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  3. I appreciate you. Thank you for being the very definition of friend. Your connect is so powerful that I would expect to see your face right next to the definition. Webster says a friend is someone who knows you well; an ally; a supporter. You are all those things to me.

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  4. The Word of God reminds us that a friend sticks closer than a brother...Sadly, friendships today (just as in Jesus' day)is often based on the bread & fish... Folks will follow you and say they love you only for what you can give 'em...

    What's so wonderful is that Jesus never turned anyone away who had genuine needs but HE* was cognizant of why they followed HIM* and frankly, He wished it were different but HIS* heart of love and compassion understood human propensities...

    Today, nothing has really changed!!! Folks are still obsessed with the almighty $$$ and will follow anyone who has it...

    Yesterday (while sitting outside a drug store in Barbados waiting for my wife)I struck up a conversation with a vagrant who politely asked - "are you enjoying your vacation?" After 5 mins of conversation, I realized that this guy (down on his luck for whatever reasons)was a very wise soul... Everyone who passed by had this quizzical look on their faces and you could almost read their thoughts...

    But I remembered JESUS* and how HE* relished the poor and dispossessed and how HE* changed their lives through unbiased LOVE... For me, that is the lesson in true friendship!!!

    Jesus as the greatest example of true friendship reminds us that "greater love has no man than a man would lay down his life for his friend"...

    HE* fulfilled that to the letter!!!

    When my wife came out the drugstore, I handed her some money and I said to her bless that brother... He lit up as we walked away...

    I am sure JESUS* would have done the same and more!!!

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