I just figured out something about myself. I think I’m in LOVE with LOVE. Not the hard stuff, but the idealized version. Holding hands, skipping through the park, never let you go kind of LOVE. Maybe I’ve seen too many Disney movies. Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. They fall deeply in LOVE and live happily ever after. The End

Now back to reality...boy meets girl; boy has too many hang-ups and personal issues to fall in LOVE with any damn body. Girl is too insecure to have a healthy relationship; least of all fall in LOVE. Here’s the modern day version: Man meets woman. They exchange numbers and start sexting. lol They haven’t even had a date! Date?!!! Do people do that anymore? Where’s the romance? Where are the flowers? When is the last time you were asked out? I mean he/she calls you, makes plans for an outing that you’d both enjoy. They pick you up to take you to dinner, a movie, a concert, a show. Where is the LOVE? Where is the romance?

Chivalry is dead! Well, maybe not dead, but the sucker is asleep! Wake the hell up!! You are sooooo missed. Have we forgotten how to be kind to each other? Romance equals seduction. Men remember that time you took your woman out and she couldn’t wait to get you home? Flirting across the table, sneaking kisses, playing footsie...the build-up and anticipation was half of the fun.

Ladies when was the last time you were looking extra good for your man “just because”. You want his undivided attention, but you know how you got him so obviously you should know how to keep him. Hopefully everyone knows the about “just because”. In other words you don’t need a reason, holiday, birthday or anniversary to show some LOVE. When’s the last time you cooked his favorite meal? Went out to your favorite spot? Ran his or her bath water? We always wait to make some grand gesture. I’ve sent flowers. Believe it or not, men appreciate flowers too. Sometimes it’s not the size of the gesture or the cost, but the intent behind it. What about cooking dinner for your wife? Or cleaning the house so you can spend time doing something fun? Consideration goes a long way.

I think I would have fared better in some of my past relationships if we had just been more considerate of each other. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. All those things apply in relationships. Your man or woman could be your best friend if you would put their needs ahead of your own. Here’s the bad news: No matter how you slice it; relationships take work. LOVE is a four letter word, but so is W-O-R-K. Okay, so I’m like everybody else. I always thought LOVE is expected to happen easily. I think it does. Relationships are different. I wrote earlier this week that real LOVE never gives up, and it never gives up on you. Whether you’re dating, a couple, or married it’s going to take work and effort to stay together. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.

Question: Whether you’re in a successful relationship or not; when did you realize it took work to be in a relationship?

*Please give me your feedback. I sincerely want to know the answer. This is something I’m constantly learning and perfecting. The best way to learn is experience, but maybe I can avoid the pitfalls by looking at the successes.


  1. I think there are many levels to love. One is infatuation which is intense but usually superficial. It is usually based on appearance and ignorance. Superficial in that attraction is based on the surface appearance of someone. The ignorance lies in not really knowing the character of who the person really is. That is immature love. I think that mature love is more faith based than feeling based. There is a security you have in KNOWING that you are loved. In KNOWING that that person will always be there for you! In KNOWING that they always have your best interest at heart. These are attributes that help the bonds of love grow stronger over time and pass the tests of sickness & in health; for better and for worse; forsaking ALL OTHERS; Until death do you part.
    Some people feel that settling is based on looks...i.e.; I want someone just as beautiful as me and if if I choose someone less attractive.... I settled. We are all attracted to what we are attracted to superficially (on the surface) but if a person has the looks but not the work ethic the relationship requires then it won't pass the test of time. It takes two committed souls. Committed to Christ.... and committed to one another. If you put faith first.... feelings will follow. Be equally yoked spiritually. Let God be the source of that mutual love. He won't ever run out of what you need to supply to one another! His love is unlimited!

  2. When did I first realize it took work to be in a relationship?

    Every extended interaction I care to cultivate requires work. Whether loving relationship, business relationship, casual friendship, activity partner, boss, subordinate, or even client, expectations both internal and external must be addressed or someone will end up feeling hurt, resentful, bitter or even ignored as a result.


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