I wrote something today on my Facebook status that made me contemplate my own reality. I just asked people to be their “authentic self.” How much easier would life be if we all decided to show up? Going through the motions, pretending to be someone you’re not. How tiring is this? Ever notice that if you lie about something it’s hard as hell to remember the lie, then you have to tell another lie to cover the first lie, and so on and so on… it never ends. We’ve gotten so use to pretending that we don’t even know ourselves. We pretend at work, we pretend at home, we pretend with friends, we pretend with family. Will the real “you” please stand up?! Do you even know who that is anymore? We lie to people, but no lie is greater than the ones we tell ourselves.

I was trading emails with a friend and we were laughing about how people send their “representative” to meet you. Not that you want to call people out when you first meet them, but isn’t it funny how you have that sixth sense about someone? Something is telling you that this is not who they are. We’ve become so worried about what people think that we are constantly wearing a façade.

Think about it. You meet this man or woman for the first time and you see them for who they really are. Wouldn’t that cut the bs? I’m not saying you don’t want to put your best foot forward, but no one has to be a chameleon. They don’t drink. Now all of the sudden you don’t drink. Hell, you probably had a stiff one before you showed up for the date. lol They want children. You can’t stand to be around anyone’s child; not even your nieces or nephews. Wouldn’t it save a lot of time and money? Think about how many people might reconsider marriage if they knew that person didn’t want the same things. We all have that list of prerequisites for the “ultimate partner”, the “ultimate mate”. What’s more important? Being married? Or being married to the “one” person you could truly LOVE?

I liked being married, but I made a terrible wife. I was so busy being what I thought constituted a “good wife” that I got lost. I stopped being Veela. The very things I loved to do and made me who I am all ceased. I was so worried about fitting the stereotype. Thank GOD, the script is being rewritten and our sons and daughters can create their own vision of family.

I gotta respect my daughter for not falling into peer pressure and conforming. She has always told me that she likes the fact that she’s “unique”. I contribute her bravery to me being my TRUE self with my daughter; flaws and all. She’s seen me at my best and my worst; the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between. I have probably shared things with her that I should have kept to myself. She never deviates from being her “authentic self”. Take it or leave it. We laugh about how people LOVE her or hate her. But in her journey she has gained TRUE friends who have been there for her in ways that have brought me to tears. To have someone LOVE your child as if they were a part of their family means a lot. Those in her circle genuinely like and LOVE her. That’s a blessing.

I know that things have been difficult for a lot of us, but I contend that when good things are coming your way GOD has to separate the wheat from the tare. In case you didn’t know a tare is the rejected; an undesirable weed. That’s not part of the harvest. I’ve been feeling like GOD has been weeding my garden readying me for harvest. HE’s doing the same for you.

Everyone wants happiness and deserves to be happy. I was telling someone that the TRUTH may hurt, but a lie destroys. Why live your life in the shadows? When the TRUTH comes to the light the lie no longer has any power in your life. Choose to be your “authentic self” so you can enjoy living your life. Live a life with no regrets.

Question: Who is showing up? You or a representative?


  1. I think most people put more energy into their image than into being authentic...."real." I think most if the time people are role playing instead of meaningfully relating with one another and that even the mating process for the most part is not genuine. What I mean is both sexes are role playing and that dating is in a sense an interview for a role that someone feels they need for their life. They make their goal to have "a wife" or "a husband" and if they meet the requirements of their casting call list then they are a candidate for the role. It's all an elaborate role playing game! People are relating to people based on the role they want them to play in their life but not from the level of genuine character and heart of a person. Frankly, so many people are self absorbed and selfish they only look at a person to the extent of what they can get out of them when they need it from them.... and so on....Real relationships of substance are mutual. Care and concern is mutual....We tend to use people based on the role we have for them at that particular moment and then they are not really considered after they have served our purpose.... No wonder we are surrounded by so many dysfunctional relationships, broken hearts, and disappointed expectations....

    Are we really connecting from a genuine and real perspective or are we just playing a role-playing game? I don't think I articulated this as well as I wanted but I hope everyone can see where I'm coming from.

  2. Minister Bill,

    You were right on the money. Eloquent and articulate as ALWAYS!!


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