Yesterday it was reported locally and nationally that there were sexual allegations against a very prominent minister in the African-American community. At this juncture and in this day and age; nothing really shocks me. We live in a society that is still cleaning up after decades of sexual molestation in the Catholic Church. The accusations of sexual improprieties in the Church are nothing new. This minister was living a secret life. The sexual orientation of another is in question. The whispers continue, but no one is ever challenged. For years it’s been a running joke in the Black Church that every choir director or minister of music is gay. It’s the reference we make about so and so being just a little too feminine. What do you expect? I know I usually write about LOVE and relationships, but this is a conversation long overdue.

I’m a healthy woman with a sexual appetite, but I would NEVER discuss this in Church. It’s taboo to even think about it. We talk about reaching out to young people and mentoring them because they are labeled “at risk”. How did we get here? Teenage pregnancy, AIDS, STD’s, homosexuality, rape, and molestation….the list goes on. We went from expecting teachers to raise our children to looking to the Church. Where are the parents in this? My Mother has a great friend who is an awesome preacher and is openly gay. Is that a contradiction in terms? I don’t think so. Only GOD can judge, but we all can LOVE. There is a singer that I am crazy about. The minute he came out of the closet these so called “church people” turned on him. There is no denying this young man has anointing and a calling for the ministry.

I personally think that most of these discussions need to happen in the home, but we need to talk openly in the Church as well about EVERYTHING! Let’s stop hiding. There’s no reason to pretend. Straight, gay, bi-sexual, I still LOVE you with the LOVE of GOD. Right now we have young people so confused about who they are and their sexuality that it’s enough to drive anyone insane. How do you purport, “Jesus loves you” when so many have been molested in the Church by entrusted members? Women are desperately seeking male role models in the Church and unknowingly putting their children in the hands of their perpetrators. Years ago Rae Lewis-Thornton spoke at my home church and when she begged those in attendance to have a frank and honest conversation about sex she was practically ostracized right then and there. My job is to start the conversation.

If not now then when?


  1. Because we still seek "man's" approval instead of humbling ourselves before God. Many will be left wandering in the "wilderness"; AGAIN! Not just in the church is this a big mess; but black leadership PERIOD! We die in our flesh daily. If we continue to allow the media and entertainment to govern the morals of society; but refuse to talk openly and honestly amongst ourselves, many will die. Look at this generation and look at black leadership. They both look identical. Only the youth are not famous and leading the masses with hypocrisy. The youth only know what they've been shown. This is why God holds us accountable when we accept the call of leadership. God knows that many of His people won't know Him unless they see Him in others. Sin is sin; in the church pulpit or not. These sexual demons have our people "slave sleep" and afraid to discuss the very truth that many live each day! And they know that they are living in sin or they wouldn't be afraid of God's people when God sends them to turn on the light. Who hides in denial when they know they are right???????

  2. - (EVERYBODY DESERVES TO BE HEARD - Veela)Judgment Day - I did read it and it is interesting that you use the word honest as your objective.

    One cannot be honest and be:
    1) deceptive,
    2) devious,
    ...3) dishonest,
    4) false,
    5) fraudulent,
    6) lying,
    7) misleading,
    8) treacherous,
    9) untrustworthy,
    10) untruthful

    I really hoped very hard that you would be an honest bearer of the truth and a light to other women, so we look at the fundemental principles and axioms upon which you have taken your stance and if we find 1-10 we honestly compel you by making you aware of them and then merely observe you and your commitment to wards honesty.

    The acknowledgement of evil can never make evil honest. Just because something is real does not make it right even if they are our own feelings we are capable of excercising self discipline and not be animals driven by instincts, fear, and sex.

    The denial of our ability to know and discern right from wrong and to choose the good cannot be dismissed cavalierly by those who are committed to institutionalize the "wrong". To that extent we can all learn to become skillful in making good judgments about our lives, ourselves, our choices, and about others as we want them made about us; this is functional maturity.

    So yes brothers read this and by the numbers above our hearts drop when we realize, "oh just another one, there is nothing new here".

    If I could only express to you our sadness at your missed opportunity here and know that you honestly care would be a miracle in this present climate.

  3. My purpose is to allow people to speak their TRUTH. No one is judging any man. When I refer to man I'm referring to mankind, man, woman, etc. As a woman I don't pretend to speak from a man's perspective nor would I expect him to speak from mine. You are passing judgment just as your name describes.
    As a survivor of molestation I know some things that you don't. Victims usually don't tell. It was an unspoken horror that I silently lived with for almost 30yrs. I wish I could say it was the only experience I had in someone sexually violating me. It's not. I sympathize with the accusers. My molester was a family friend that we knew through church. My late Father was the pastor. I have had my own family members touch me inappropriately. Even in the school swimming pool I was attacked and no one would help me.
    Part of the reason that these things continue is that no one wants to talk about what is really going on. The vicious cycle continues because people are so quick to judge those that should be embraced. Do I know scripture? Yes. And like anyone else I could easily explain this entire current climate" by quoting it. People need to be heard. People desperately need welcoming arms, a listening ear before it's too late.

    I read the suicide note of one of the victims and empathized with his pain. There've been times I've been there and didn't know why it seemed like the answer. My secret was so buried that I refused to accept it happened, and that it happened to me.

    It's interesting that you hoped I would be the bearer of TRUTH for women. You haven't read any of my other blogs; because 9 times out of ten it's the men who respond to my writing. I've been criticized by other women for being so revealing about my feelings as a woman. I contend that men and women are not that far apart it our thinking and our feelings. I respect your opinion, but I disagree with you passing judgment. That's part of the problem. Oh, by the way if you saw my blog as passing judgment on men you missed it. My perpetrator was a woman.


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